I am a game changer. Upon stepping on lego pieces, it doesn’t hurt. Indiana Jones asked me for aid on his last crusade. I never pass gas but if I did, it would be known as a natural resource. Santa puts milk and cookies out for me at Christmas-time. Third world countries have adopted the new ideology known as ‘Nicolism’. I can tie my shoes. Occasionally I try and do 5 impossible things before breakfast. During the last Indy 500, I did only one lap and still finished first.
On Thursdays I tend to stimulate my medulla oblongata. I play the French horn, the oboe and the kazoo…all at the same time. After reaching the end of the rainbow, most will find me instead of the pot of gold. After hiking to the top of Mount Everest , most will find me tanning. After waking up in the morning, most will find me taking a shower. Though it has taken me many years, I have finally perfected the recipe for ice. Alexander Bell invented the telephone, only to realize he had 6 missed calls from me. When I’m bored I like to count to infinity, thrice. Although it is not the greatest of common knowledge there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side and myself.
I know my ABC ’s.
Casually strolling through parks, I find the time to save innocent kittens from trees. Romeo chose me over Juliet. In the Spring I plant flowers in the shapes of the Mona Lisa, Starry Night and The Scream. There is a picture of me on permanent display in the Louvre. In the Summer I divide my time into intervals, giving fruit pickers’ places to stay and saving children from drowning in the Okanagan Lake
I can dress myself.
I once fell out of bed, causing the 8.9 earthquake in Japan. I once yawned, creating the greatest song in the world. I once smiled, making the whole world put on shades.
'Once upon a time' were my first words, creating the basis of fairytales for the rest of history. My parents love me. Though all of these feats are phenomenal, I still have not yet been to university.
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